For Every Hour of Every Day: Things that I learned through our marriage which I pass on to you.
To Hold and to Cherish
1. You have received a precious gift from God on your wedding day.
2. You’re married to the right person.
Allowing the thought that it is the wrong person is detrimental to your relationship. You’re married! It is too late. “What God has joined together, let no man separate.” So make the best out of your marriage.
3.Your spouse is not Jesus and not perfect; only Jesus is perfect. Only Jesus can meet your deepest needs as He is the source of your life not any person or things.
4. Remember to strengthen your relationship with God. When it is there, you will have the blessing of having a good relationship with your spouse because God is a God of peace and love.
5. Find time for a “circle of two,” for prayer and Bible reading. Your family is a “miniature church.”
7. Your first year together is only a year of romance. Years of true love are coming. So hang on. If there is no wine left, Jesus can still do miracles. He loves to give to those who ask him. He is always for you and your marriage.
8. Love is a decision, not just feelings. The commitment you make on your wedding day is to your spouse and to God.
10. Be determined to strive and work hard for a great marriage. If there is a will there is a way. God will give you the desires of your heart. To have a great marriage, the partners need to be authentic and transparent. So there may be differences in opinion on various issues.
13. Forget all the hurt from the last argument. Once forgiven, its forgiven. So try to forget or ask God to help you to forget.
14. Say sorry even when you know your spouse has wronged you in the particular incident. You reap the result in great measure.
16. Do not take your spouse for granted for they have chosen to love you and to make your life brighter each day even by simple acts of kindness. Be thankful. It is also applicable to your family members and your friends.
17. Your spouse is your best friend next to Jesus. See that you value your relationship with your spouse in the midst of the pressures of life.
18. Listen to your mate. Communicate verbally and non-verbally.
19. Encourage each other. Next to God you are your spouse’s best cheer leader.
20. Find time to have fun and laugh. Create opportunities to reminiscence your “good old days.”
21. Let each of your “cup of love” be filled with your spouse’s love. It is a safety measure against temptation. Our efforts to participate in God’s vision will be effective when we are at peace with ourselves.
22. If you know a particular thing is God’s will for your life do not hesitate to accomplish it. It is part of being a mature person. This will only lead to fulfillment in marriage.
23. Difficult times develop pearls and rubies in your marriage. These times help one to “taste and see that the Lord is good.” It also provides fertile ground to grow in love towards each other and to appreciate how others care for us.
24. Taking time to bless your extended family, your church, and those in need is an opportunity to bring a smile in the lives of others.
I wrote the first draft of this piece of writing to give it to my youngest sister when she got married in June 1998. My daughter told told me one day “I do not want daddy to get old any more.” I explained to her the joys of getting old. One of the joys of getting old is to see the fruits of our hard work to build great marriage and familyPublished October 12, 2012
How to Develop Oneness in Marriage Is it 50/50 or 100/100?
Present but Absent
Machines have robbed opportunities of family members to share the workload. This has reduced the work for its members but also decreased the time families spend for a common purpose. Each of the family members have their own friends to talk to in the privacy of their own rooms and their own mobile phones. They enjoy their own favorite programs in their own gadgets. With less time spent together and less common space, family members grow distant from each other.
Who suffers the most from such distant relationships in families? I believe that each of the family members become victims of such emotionally absent but physically present life in our houses. When children are young, by nature they extend their physical and emotional touch to others. Yet as they grow older they will soon learn to adopt various distant behavior patterns. Here each of the family members live in their own worlds. They may share their joys together but pain and hurt are safely bottled up in their own lives. This is when houses become in essence lodges.
Who has the responsibility of making the house a home? Parents and other adults have a major role in this process. But as children grow older they are to be trained to build their home. As each member places the necessary bricks in the structure, it will become a home not only for its members but also for many others. Let each of us get to work to be always present in our homes. Remember each brick counts!
Written on March 18, 2012
Family Vision Statement
Family Vision Statement:
Where is your family heading to?
Many of us are familiar with company’s vision statements. How important is a vision statement for a family? When my husband and I began traveling with the same vision for our life together, we become more productive and our life together became a blessing to us and others. It does not mean that our first few years of life were boring or less colourful. We have enjoyed each other and grew in love with each other ever since we got married with a deep desire to serve God and to raise a godly family. But a common vision gave us a focus to move forward and together cling to God in good and happy times.
I guess you got my point. Why wait? Now let us get to work…
Why is our family here? Or What is God’s purpose for our family? This expresses the purpose of your family.
Where are we going? Or What do you want to achieve? This has to do with the vision of the family.
As you answer these questions you are framing different parts of your family’s vision statement. Put all these answers together to one meaningful sentences. This may not be the final one but a start to see God’s unique purpose for your family.
Hope you will have the vision statement ready before I share my thoughts with you next thoughts. Until then may you live in peace with God and others!
Written on Feb 16, 2012